Whenever I’m in the thick of writing a book it inevitably starts to become difficult for me to the finish line. Usually it’s right smack dab in the middle when I’ve written a lot but I still have a lot more to go. I always struggle right at the end too, but there’s something about the middle that always gets me. It’s a mental thing. It’s like, I’m in too deep, I’ve committed too much time to this project, but I’m not sure I want to go through all the work to polish it to the state that it really needs to be in.
I remember being at this stage with The Dark Ruler. It was probably sometime in September or October of 2020. At that time, this book seemed like such a mountain. I could sense that it was gonna be pretty long, longer than any of my other books, and there was so much I needed to accomplish plot wise. There were so many questions I needed to answer. Plus I had to properly set it up for the next book in the series (more on that later) It felt like I couldn’t seamlessly fit it all in.
Now as I sit here in the realization that The Dark Ruler is done… done. done, I wonder what I was so stressed about? Isn’t that the way it always goes with a project? What’s that saying? “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” Nelson Mandela said that and I have that to be true over and over again.
It feels amazing to be in this position. My fourth book is 100% done! I’ve written 4 books! I could scream it from the roof tops! But before I get too caught up in singing my own praises, I want to use the blog post today to give you a behind-the-scenes look at the writing and publishing process that went into The Dark Ruler.
Like all of you, last year was different for me. Here in America, COVID struck in early March. Literally the week that everything shut down was the same week that I left my 9-5 job of nearly 10 years to write part time. Leaving my job was pre-planned and had nothing to do with COVID. Odd, I know… It was a weird time of transition for me.
The point is, I wrote The Dark Ruler during the heat of the pandemic. The lack of social gatherings really cut down on my commitments and I was able to spend a lot of time at my laptop clacking away. For me, this book is a positive part of 2020. It helped me survive it and I’m not sure I could have written it as quickly as I did without quarantine.
As an author I often get asked what inspired me to write my books. That question is hard to answer. A million things have inspired me. In the case of The Dark Ruler, I had been thinking over this plot for years. The skeleton of this installment was in my head even while I was writing the earlier Camilla books. But I will let you in on one major inspiration. It’s a little bit of a spoiler, so let’s keep it hush hush.
In 2019 I married my best friend. The development of our relationship and our actual wedding event inspired certain parts of The Dark Ruler. There is of course a romance element to the Camilla books and much of that storyline in this book, is inspired by my own experiences of falling in love. I’ll stop before I get too gushy on you! There is a wedding that takes place in The Dark Ruler. As a fresh-off-the-press bride, I drew from a lot of my own wedding planning experiences as I wrote those scenes. Because of my husband’s inspiration, I ended up dedicated The Dark Ruler to him. Go grab your copy HERE to see that very romantic dedication!
Completing The Dark Ruler wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It’s been nearly 2 ½ years since I’ve published a book. Look, I was falling in love and getting married. Give me a break! The last book I published was The Bear Gap Rebels, which is the book that comes before The Dark Ruler in the Camilla Crim series.
Flashback with me to 2017. I was finishing up The Bear Gap Rebels and I did what I had done with all my other books. I gave an advanced copy to my Grammie. She was an avid reader and had this beautiful library in her house that I loved. And of course, she always supported me. So she was on the short list of people who got to read my new books first. I’d always wait for her feedback before officially finishing the book.
I remember driving to my grandparent’s house with the printed out manuscript on the passenger’s seat. My Grammie was so excited to get her copy of The Bear Gap Rebels. A week or so later, she surprised me by stopping by my work. She’d come to deliver her thoughts on my latest book. We sat at the conference room table as she went over her printed out letter that she had written to me.
As usual I thanked her profusely for her time and thoughtful comments. We hugged before I helped her out of the office door. I went back to work not realizing that that would be the last book of mine that she’d be able to read. That would be the last time we’d be able to have a conversation about what I could improve on in my book.
It would be a couple more years before she would pass away but I never realized until she was gone how much I loved those moments we had together, talking about plot and character development. My Grammie was very creative. She was an incredible painter, and her home was always covered in her own work. She was one of the few people in my life that shared an artsy, creative mind with me.
Later, I dug out that letter that she wrote me regarding The Bear Gap Rebels. She had typed it up but signed it at the bottom with a pen. I cut off the bottom portion of that letter which was the closing paragraph about how she did NOT expect that ending and her signature. That piece of paper now sits on my desk.
I’m sorry. I know. Sad story. I’ve talked about my Grammie on the blog before. I honestly struggled to get back into writing after her death partly due to the fact that I knew she’d never be able read anything I wrote again. And that’s what brings me back to The Dark Ruler. If you want to know what it was like to write The Dark Ruler, it was a constant reminder that I was missing her encouragement during the process. I feel bad about my 2 ½ year gap in publishing. But I can look back and know that it was a break I needed to take.
And I’m not going to stop writing. I have already begun some of the preliminary stages of writing the next Camilla book. Yes, there is another Camilla book to come. Many people have asked me if The Dark Ruler is the completion of the series. It absolutely is not! When you read The Dark Ruler, you’ll know by the ending that there is much more to come. The Dark Ruler is now available in eBook and print. Grab your copy HERE. New to the series? You can read book #1 for FREE by clicking HERE.
I will end this blog post with a farewell as I willingly plunge myself back into the terrible yet wonderful world of book writing. It is after all, what Grammie would have wanted.
Love,
Recent Comments